this is as easy as it gets

Elijah walked into the kitchen wearing Uncle John’s WWII helmet, balancing a backpack from Vietnam on his shoulders with his hands. He had a pair of binoculars strung around his neck and wore the most serious expression across his almost five-year-old brow.

I looked up from the alphabet puzzle I was working on with Noah, stilled by the sight of my little boy dressed up like a soldier. I’m sure he began telling me about some pretend adventure he was beginning, but I didn’t hear him. My throat tightened and my eyes swam full with tears because I realized, that as hard as it sometimes is being a mom to little people, this is as easy as it gets.

Pretend adventures. Playdates. Preschool drop-off.

The war that’s waged every night at dinner over what pieces of icky-sticky-thing is mixed into the food.

Colds and flus and booster shots.

Sleepless nights, bad dreams, and hurt feelings.

At the end of most days I am tired and worn and stretched just a little further than I thought I could be, but even then, the privilege of mothering these boys is so worth it.

Oh, these boys who make my life so full and exhausting and completely wonderful. I am in love with them, when it’s easy and when it’s hard.

Someday real life will call them off to follow their dreams. I don’t know what they’ll do, or where they’ll call home. I’m not sure if their lives will be predictable or safe or if I will always worry. I will probably always worry.

Someday I will have to let them go, which I am certain is the hardest part of all.

So for today, while they are little and I hold them safely near my heart, I will hug them tighter, and play with them longer, and try not to get so frustrated when we’re late getting out the door, because this is the easy part.

Thank God for the easy parts.

This is the day the Lord has made; I will rejoice and be glad in it.

Psalm 118:24 (NKJV, emphasis mine)