Happy to still be a Momma to one

My friend asked me to babysit today well before she had her daughter in April, and I accepted, excited but not really thinking about the fact that I would be outnumbered with a baby and a toddler in the house.

It didn’t really hit me until I dug through Elijah’s closet to get out the bouncer.  I brought it into the living room, proud that I had the foresight to show it to Elijah before Maya came over to break in the idea that we would have a little friend over for the day.  What Elijah really understood about Maya coming over I have no idea.  What I know he understood was that he wanted to sit in the bouncer and that I wouldn’t let him (because I in fact wanted Maya to use a working bouncer today).  This resulted in Elijah crumpling to the floor in a crying fit of tears and me wondering how I would possibly make today a positive experience.

I really had nothing to worry about.

Maya was a perfect baby, and Elijah actually got used to her being around.  I might even wonder if he liked having her around.  He may be sad to realize tomorrow that she’s not here.  He was very sweet to check on her every time she moved in the pack and play and was very helpful to bring blankets and paci’s when they were needed.  I was so incredibly proud to see the budding characteristics of compassion and love in my son – a feeling I’ve never known before, but absolutely LOVED!  We had so much fun with Maya as a family – we were very sad when she had to go home.

So what was the big deal?

Maybe, if I was really honest with myself, what I was really worried about was not one day watching baby Maya, but how I would someday stack up as mom of two.  I mean we’re not planning on it in the near future . . . but Elijah keeps me so busy I have caught myself saying more than I’d like that I don’t know what I’d do with a second child.  Where would I draw extra energy from?  How would I get everything done in a day that needs to get done?  How would I possibly give that second child the same love and attention that Elijah gets everyday?

One day as a momma of two did not answer all of my questions or give me a step by step plan for life with two when it comes.  What it did give me was confidence.  Two and a half years ago, I would never have considered myself the momma type – but deep down inside, I am.  I’m the right mom for Elijah, and I’ll be the right mom for a future Noah or Reina someday – and I’m positive I will love every single minute of being a momma of two as much as I love being a momma of one.