Finding Silly

We were four of the 20,000 crazy people who descended on Bourbonnais for Bears practice last Sunday. The boys and I had never been, and it’s been something like 10 years for Mike, so we strapped ourselves into the old LeSabre replete with toys and books and twizzlers and called it a family adventure day. It’s been a while since we’ve been able to venture out of the house and we had fun.

Somewhere in the course of walking the campus of Olivet, we came across the drum line practicing for their coming season. If you know my boys, you know that was event enough to drive an hour and a half for, and they happily danced their little hearts out to the beat of the marching band metronome. Watching my boys be silly with that childlike abandon made me smile to myself and question where they got it from.

And then I remembered. I used to be silly once.

Long before I went to college and got a real job and got married, I was one of the silliest, craziest girls – much like my two dancing boys. But I grew up, and then I became a mom and that silly girl got buried under a very organized woman, learning the responsibilities of raising human beings and navigating grown up things like life insurance and living wills.

And if there’s anything that’ll knock the silly out of you it’s figuring out those types of grown up things.

I thought for a moment while pushing our empty double stroller, and I couldn’t remember the last time I was really silly. I could remember the last time I put someone on timeout and the last time I organized the closets and balanced the budget and got somewhere with a carload of kid-things on time – but not the last time I was really, really silly.

I decided right then, that needed to change.

I know there is much to teach my boys about life, but I want them to remember me as more than dependable and responsible and organized. I want them to remember that I can have fun and that I’m not afraid to get dirty and sweaty and silly once in a while. I want them to remember their momma can be present with them in their silliness, and not just that I have a lot to show them about growing up.

So I’m doing something I’ve never done before – I’m finding my silly in those appropriate everyday moments. It’s been awhile but I know the silly girl still lives, and I think my boys would be absolutely delighted if she dropped by every once in a while.